Monday, March 31, 2008

Maybe the old Heidi is still in there somewhere...

Ok... so, we are moving into our new house soon and I was packing some stuff in the garage and found this picture hidden under mounds of stuff we piled into a box in one of our 10 million military moves. I stared at it for awhile... admiring my thin arms, tiny waist, skinny face... I almost couldn't believe I actually looked like that at one time. I was 17 and about to be escorted in the Homecoming Assembly at school. (It's nice to see a visual reminder of the Heidi before children, or "B.C." as my mom and I call it) I am the one in the maroon dress in the middle, by the way, in case you don't recognize me.

But then I started thinking more deeply about the situation. Sometimes I forget there even was a Heidi before children. What did I do for fun? What music did I like? What was it like to sleep in till noon? I mostly like to reminisce about shopping "B.C." . I could browse through isles for hours, try on everything I had in my hand, and do it all without yelling "Come back here right now or I will strap you into this stroller!"... or replenishing fishy crackers on stroller trays after every isle (and then stepping on them and acting like I didn't just crush 10 fish crackers under my feet in the middle of a department store as we walk by).

But the thing that got me the most is that not only do I barely remember what Heidi was like "B.C.", but I forget what I looked like, too. I was afraid that pregnancy and childbirth had altered my body to a point that I was barely recognizable. I would give my right arm for a flat stomach again. Well... maybe my left arm, I still need to be able to write and open jars and stuff. Anyways, I was so worried about this that I then went straight to the backyard where my husband and children were mowing the lawn and put the picture in front of them and asked, "Which one is Mommy?". There was a moment of silence, then they both pointed right to tiny, little, perky Heidi right in the middle of the picture. Whew!!!!

Ok... so I am much different now than in High School. I can't shop for hours in silence without watching the clock and worrying about getting back to the chaos. I can't sleep in till noon. I don't have a flat stomach anymore. BUT..... I do have to say that I am a lot more selfless and my life is filled with hugs, kisses, and the most wonderful company a girl could ask for. And of course in true good husband fashion, my husband said that he prefers how I look now. Hmmm... I don't believe him one bit, but it's nice to hear. Thanks, babe!

5 comments:

Cyndy Christiansen said...

I always said you were way too skinny in high school! And by the way... I DO remember Heidi BC and she might have had smaller arms and a smaller waist, but the Heidi AC definitely has a much bigger heart and has definitely learned to love unconditionally! Now do you want to hear me sing... "Hei-di will you go to the prom with me... I said Hei-di will you go to the prom with me????" Still one of my favorite songs!

Ryan & Wendi said...

Wow Heidi...sometimes I still find high school pictures and I am glad I am not there anymore!! You have nothing to worry about...you are happy and healthy and have a beautiful family!

The Sampietro's said...

I know how you feel! Your still cute and you have cute kids and it sounds like a great husband. I to want my skinny arms and flat stomach back but at least Im not wishing so and so liked me or hopeing so and so asks me out. What a relief!!

Maggie said...

Heidi - you are so cute...I have tears in my eyes reading that...I think that I can relate too well. I just got my new drivers license picture...the last one was taken 11 years ago right after I was married. I look NOTHING like it now..so sad..what happened? But the babies are worth it. I'm thinking my In-n-out burgers are not, but oh well!

Ter said...

I totally understand where you are coming from, I look at myself all the time and wonder how can I look I did 14 years ago before I had Mollie, your Uncle Scott tells me as well how beautiful I am and how much he loves me this way, and I don't need to lose any weight but for me I do... I love you Heidi, and you have always been a very beautiful beautiful women....